WHY PEOPLE COMPLAIN

By Dr. Lawrence Osifo

 

CHAPTER ONE

“When They Believe in You”

The sun was setting over the dusty streets of Benin City. A gentle wind rustled the leaves of the mango trees as Osaro, a young man full of dreams but short of patience, sat outside his small shop, head buried in his palms.

His mentor, Elder Omoregbe, approached slowly with his walking stick, smiling with wisdom in his eyes.

Elder Omoregbe: “Osaro, my son, what troubles you this evening? Your face looks heavier than your heart can carry.”

Osaro (sighing): “Elder, people complain too much. My family complains, my friends complain, even my customers complain. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough!”

Elder Omoregbe (chuckling): “Ah, my son, do you know why people complain?”

Osaro: “Maybe because they don’t appreciate me.”

Elder Omoregbe: “No, my son. People complain because they accept you—but you are being unacceptable. They believe in you—but you are being unreasonable. They care for you—but you are being careless.”

Osaro looked puzzled.

Osaro: “So you mean their complaints might actually come from love and expectations?”

Elder Omoregbe: “Exactly! When people stop complaining, it might mean they have stopped expecting anything from you. Complaints are often the language of hope.”

The elder sat beside him and continued.

Elder Omoregbe: “You see, when people believe in you, they will correct you. They will challenge you. They will demand more from you. Not because they hate you, but because they see your hidden potential.”

Osaro (softly): “But Elder, it’s painful when people misunderstand your efforts.”

Elder Omoregbe: “True, but growth always comes with the pain of correction. A seed must break to become a tree. When people complain about your ways, listen—not with your ears alone, but with your heart. You will find truth hidden in their disappointment.”

Osaro nodded slowly, his heart opening to the wisdom in the old man’s voice.

Elder Omoregbe: “The best response to complaint is improvement. When they expect, exceed. When they correct, learn. When they warn, listen. That’s how ordinary men become extraordinary.”

Osaro stood up, his face brightened.

Osaro: “Thank you, Elder. From today, I will turn every complaint into a lesson.”

Elder Omoregbe smiled.
Elder Omoregbe: “Good. For a man who listens to complaints with humility will rise where others fall.”

Reflection Questions — Chapter One

1. Why do people complain about those they love?
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2. How can you respond wisely when someone corrects or complains about you?
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3. What does it mean that “complaints are the language of hope”?
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4. Describe a time you misunderstood someone’s complaint. What did you learn?
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5. How can you turn pain from criticism into personal growth?
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CHAPTER TWO

“The Weight of Expectations”

Days passed. Osaro became more attentive and humble. One evening, his close friend Ivie stopped by his shop.

Ivie: “Osaro, you’ve changed lately. You used to get angry when I complained. What happened?”

Osaro (smiling): “I met wisdom on a wooden chair. Elder Omoregbe taught me that complaints often come from expectations.”

Ivie: “Hmm… but expectations can be heavy.”

Osaro: “True. But that’s the test of maturity. People complain because they depend on you, but you are being undependable. They expect much from you, but you are showing worthlessness.”

Ivie looked at him with curiosity.
Ivie: “So, when people expect more from you, it’s not pressure—it’s privilege?”

Osaro: “Exactly! If no one expects anything from you, you’re probably doing nothing valuable.”

He paused, thinking deeply.
Osaro: “At first, I thought complaints were insults. Now I see them as instructions. People only complain when they believe you can do better.”

Just then, a customer arrived—an elderly woman complaining about her delayed order. Instead of reacting harshly, Osaro smiled.

Osaro: “Mama, you’re right. I failed to deliver on time. Please forgive me. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”

The woman’s face softened.
Mama: “Ah, Osaro, that’s what I want to hear. You are a good boy. Just be more careful next time.”

When she left, Ivie said:
Ivie: “I’m impressed. You used to argue when people corrected you.”

Osaro: “I now understand that being dependable is not about perfection—it’s about consistency.”

That night, Osaro wrote in his diary:

“When people expect much from me, I will not disappoint them. Their expectations are proof of my potential.”

Reflection Questions — Chapter Two

1. How do people’s expectations reveal their belief in your abilities?
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2. Why is it important to be dependable and consistent?
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3. What is the difference between pressure and privilege?
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4. Describe a time when someone’s complaint pushed you to improve.
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5. How can you manage expectations without losing peace of mind?
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CHAPTER THREE

“The Power of Responsibility”

Months later, Osaro had become a new man—disciplined, dependable, and humble. His shop flourished, and people spoke well of him.

One afternoon, Elder Omoregbe returned.

Elder Omoregbe: “Osaro, your shop looks brighter, and your smile even brighter. What changed?”

Osaro: “Elder, I learned that people complain because they have faith in you, but you make them fearful; because they expect you to be a giver, but you become selfish. I used to see complaint as attack, but now I see it as a mirror.”

Elder Omoregbe (smiling): “Beautifully said, my son. Maturity is when you stop blaming others for your reflection.”

They both laughed gently.

Elder Omoregbe: “Never forget—responsibility gives birth to respect. People will complain if you fail to live up to the faith they place in you. But when you correct your ways, their complaints will turn into praise.”

Osaro: “Elder, I’ve realised that leadership is not about being perfect—it’s about being teachable.”

Elder Omoregbe: “Ah! You have spoken wisely. Every complaint is an invitation to rise higher. If they didn’t care, they would stay silent.”

Osaro lifted his eyes toward the evening sky and whispered,

“When people complain, I will listen. When they correct, I will change. When they trust me, I will not fail.”

Elder Omoregbe placed a hand on his shoulder.
Elder Omoregbe: “Well done, my son. You have learned the greatest secret—turning complaints into character.”

Reflection Questions — Chapter Three

1. Why is it important to respond to complaints with responsibility?
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2. What does it mean that “responsibility gives birth to respect”?
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3. How can faith and trust from others become a motivation for excellence?
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4. What happens when people stop complaining about you altogether?
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5. How can humility transform the way you handle correction and criticism?
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GLOSSARY

1. Dependable – Someone who can be trusted or relied upon.
2. Unacceptable – Not meeting the expected or required standard.
3. Undependable – Failing to fulfil responsibilities consistently.
4. Maturity – The ability to think and act responsibly with understanding.
5. Correction – A change made to improve behaviour or performance.
6. Responsibility – Being accountable for your actions and duties.
7. Faith – Strong trust or confidence in someone or something.
8. Expectation – A belief that someone will achieve or deliver something.
9. Selfishness – Putting personal interest before others’ needs.
10. Humility – The quality of being modest and open to learning.